Dear Rey: On Allyship and Accessibility
Showing up for community by any means necessary
Hey friends,
Welcome to Dear Rey! This is an advice column where we talk about what it means to live, love, grieve, and grow as transgender and queer people—alongside the allies who support us. Each week (or whenever I have the energy), I answer a real question submitted by a reader with intention and care.
Want to submit a question? Email me at reyandthearchive@gmail.com with the subject “Advice Column,” along with your name and location, or let me know if you'd prefer to stay anonymous.
A reader writes:
Dear Rey,
What can I do to be supportive in non-$ ways and limited physical issues?
Thanks,
Arwen
Dear Arwen,
Thank you for asking this question. I previously covered this in an older post, which contains a list of actions (from low energy to high energy) that will help you and anyone else reading this get started in being an ally. You and everyone else do not need to be on the front lines or donate money to make a real difference. Consistent support often has a deeper impact than you realize.
One of the most important things you can do is affirm people’s identities. Use someone’s chosen name and pronouns consistently. If you make a mistake, correct yourself and move forward. Respect goes a long way, even in small moments.
Self-education matters too. There are many free resources through books, podcasts, and social media where you can learn directly from LGBTQ+ voices. Taking time to learn on your own eases the burden so many of us carry when we are expected to educate others. Some transgender people work as consultants and are happy to engage in teaching moments, but many do not want to be placed in that position.
Sharing resources, opportunities, and mental health supports also makes a difference. You do not have to create anything new. Passing along helpful information can save someone’s life.
If you are able to vote, support candidates who back LGBTQ+ rights at every level, not just during major elections. You can also submit public comments against anti-LGBTQ+ bills online without needing to show up in person.
Building safer spaces matters just as much. Showing up as someone who listens, who celebrates LGBTQ+ joy, and who offers care without conditions helps create stronger communities. Sharing LGBTQ+ art, stories, and achievements shifts the focus from survival to thriving.
While these are actions you can take, it is vital to understand that allyship is not about doing everything perfectly or all at once. It is about showing up consistently, even when no one is watching. The ways you show up by learning, affirming, witnessing, uplifting, voting, and speaking when it matters help make the world safer for all of us.
Con mucho amor,
Rey 🌻
Recommended Resources
How To Get Involved in the Fight for LGBTQ+ Rights
This guide offers practical ways to get involved in supporting transgender and LGBTQ+ communities, with actions ranging from low energy to high energy so anyone can find a place to start.Being an LGBTQ+ Ally
A guide offering practical tips on how to support LGBTQ+ people with respect, understanding, and advocacy.Trans Ally Worksheet
A worksheet of real-world scenarios to help allies practice how to better support transgender people in everyday situations.Top 5 Trans Ally Principles
A quick overview of the five key principles every ally should follow to support transgender people.GLAAD’s Tips for Allies of Transgender People
A straightforward guide to better understand and respectfully support transgender and nonbinary individuals.
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