Dear Rey: On Finances and Moving
Finding a way forward when moving feels out of reach
Hey friends,
Welcome to Dear Rey! This is an advice column where we talk about what it means to live, love, grieve, and grow as transgender and queer people—alongside the allies who support us. Each week (or whenever I have the energy), I answer a real question submitted by a reader with intention and care.
Want to submit a question? Email me at reyandthearchive@gmail.com with the subject “Advice Column,” along with your name and location, or let me know if you'd prefer to stay anonymous.
A reader writes:
Dear Rey,
I am 21, trans, and living in texas. I've been job hunting for the past year and I'm afraid of what will happen if house bill 3817 passes. I've been planning on moving to New Mexico but I don't have enough money in my savings and without a job it would be impossible. I can't change my gender marker here and I can't pretend to be a girl because I've been on T for a year. What should I do?
Thanks,
Ángel
Dear Ángel,
First, I just want to say it’s completely understandable to feel scared and stuck right now. You are trying to build a future for yourself in a place that is making it harder to exist as who you are. That fear you are feeling is real.
Since moving is not an option for you right now, focus on what is within your control. You are already doing one of the hardest things: job hunting while being visibly transgender in a red state. Keep going, but prioritize applying to remote jobs where you do not have to be physically based in Texas long term. Remote work can buy you time and give you more flexibility if you decide to move later.
If you have not already, consider updating your résumé and LinkedIn to highlight your skills in ways that are not location-dependent. You do not have to out yourself on your application materials—focus on listing transferable skills. Some transgender people also use a preferred name professionally, even if their legal documents have not been changed yet.
If House Bill 3817 passes, it could make things even harder, but it is important to remember that bills take time to become law. There are usually weeks or months before they are enforced. You are not powerless. You have time to plan. You can also look into local mutual aid networks if you ever need temporary assistance with housing, food, or job leads. I listed some recommended resources below to help you get started.
You are not alone, even if it feels like that right now. Surviving in this political climate is resistance. Every small step you take toward securing your future matters, even when it feels invisible.
Con mucho amor,
Rey 🌻
Recommended Resources
House Bill 3817
The full bill document that details the law of classifying gender identity fraud as a criminal offense in Texas.Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico
A community hub offering resources, support groups, ID assistance and relocation guidance for transgender people moving to New Mexico.LGBTQ+ Career Network
A platform that connects LGBTQ+ job seekers with inclusive employers and remote job opportunities.Out in Tech Jobs Board
A global network and job board focused on connecting LGBTQ+ individuals to jobs in tech and related fields.Texas Pride Realty
A relocation guide created for LGBTQ+ people seeking safer places to move outside of hostile states.Trans Employment Project
Supports trans people with job search strategies and résumé review.LGBTQ+ Professionals Network
A LinkedIn group for LGBTQ+ employees to network, discuss work and share/find job opportunities.
If this post was helpful, feel free to forward it to someone you care about.
And if you want more advice, educational resources, and storytelling by and for transgender and queer folks, consider becoming a paid subscriber for just $5/month. Your support helps me continue doing this important work.
Together, we are creating a softer, stronger world for our community to thrive.
That's some great advice and resources.